If you have been reading my blog for more than a few months, you know that I am still learning how to deal with my grandma’s passing. It has been more than two years and in many respects, I’ve come a very long way. But there are moments, hours and sometimes even entire days when my heart aches and I literally lose my breath over how much I miss her.

Sometimes I feel angry. Many times I feel utter disbelief in her passing. But most often I just feel emptiness. You see, if you didn’t know me while she was alive you may have a hard time understanding just how close we were. We talked almost daily, even while I was in college. I still find myself reaching for my phone to call her. This happens numerous times each week. She was and still is, a whole piece of my heart.

I came across this saying today and since for some reason, she was on my mind all day, it seemed appropriate for a blog post.

What Is a Grandma?

A grandma is warm hugs and sweet memories. She remembers all of your accomplishments and forgets all of your mistakes. She is someone you can tell your secrets and worries to, and she hopes and prays that all your dreams come true. She always loves you, no matter what. She can see past temper tantrums and bad moods, and makes it clear that they don’t affect how precious you are to her. She is an encouraging word and a tender touch. She is full of proud smiles. She is the one person in the world who loves you with all her heart, who remembers the child you were and cherishes the person you’ve become.

~Barbara Cage~

I don’t know Barbara Cage, but she must have had a Lorraine Swanson twin as her grandmother, as my grandma was the exact women described above.  

Sigh, I miss her so much. There’s really nothing else left to say.