Tonight (Monday) I stepped outside of my comfort zone and took a yoga class from a teacher that is respected by the entire Colorado yoga community, and most likely well beyond that. Dawnelle Arthur is loved by everyone you meet at Qi. I am still a yoga novice and I worried that her class would be too intense–that everyone around me would be these insanely flexible yogis and I would be the weirdo in the back just trying to keep up.

How wrong I was. Yes, her class was extremely intense for 75 full minutes. I fell out of some poses and cursed how long we had to hold others. My muscles shook and the “I can’t” voice crept into my head more than once.

But at the beginning of class she asked us to summon what we’re grateful for most in life. She asked us to think of one person who has had a profound impact on our life, positive or negative. Dawnelle challenged us to invite in everything that we were feeling – light or dark – and use that in our practice.

I chose to invite in feelings that I have been ignoring since Starbucks brought back the holiday cups and we put an offer on a house.

The feeling of, “I can’t believe we are about to go through another holiday season without my grandma.”

Throughout those 75 minutes I felt gratitude for her life and the lessons she left behind while powering through the most difficult of poses. Her smile and pride in everything I did was nearly palpable to me in the full expression of tree pose. Tears quietly streamed down my face and wet my yoga mat in the final Savasana because Amazing Grace was playing and I literally felt so much gratitude for having her love me so much.

This holiday season I am grateful for many, many things. My amazing husband, our families, the joy Kona brings us, the ability to stretch to buy our first home together, our health, and our hopes for our future. We are so blessed.

But today in that quiet escape of Savasana, I was immensely thankful that for a moment, just a split second, I had my grandma by my side and her love for me overflowing in my heart.

What, or who, are you grateful for today?