To Rylan, A Thank You Letter

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My dearest Rylan –

As we rocked out to The Strumbellas and Florence & The Machines tonight while daddy cooked dinner (thank you Hello Fresh for coming into our life last week), you playing the drums and guitar while I was in charge of the trumpet solos, I briefly remembered…for a mere moment…what like was like when it was just the three of us.

The last four months have been a whirlwind. From welcoming your brother, the holidays and Caden’s RSV scare, you’ve been right here. Growing up by leaps and bounds before our eyes. And when I step back and wipe away all of the struggles – you are SUCH a 3.5 year old boy right now – I see the kindest and most patient little boy who has handled the chaos of becoming a big brother like an absolute champ.

Thank you my sweet boy.

Thank you for making us laugh all of the time. Your vocabulary and love of conversation is, according to your teachers, beyond your years. When you say, “mom, I just love your beautiful dress,” even though I am wearing my stained bathrobe, I melt. I hope we never forget how you start so many sentences with “actually, mom and dad…” and your quick “sure sure” when you agree with us is simple, but precious.

Thank you my sweet boy.

Becoming a big brother couldn’t have been easy. Neither your dad or I ever had to do that as kids now that I think of it. I realize that millions of first kids become big brothers and sisters every day, but you have shined. You love repeating my rules, like never putting anything in Caden’s crib or how Caden should “never never never” be given Legos. You beam with pride when introducing anyone and everyone to “your baby” and while I don’t love it, telling people that I feed him from my “bellies.” Caden adores you. When you are within his eyesight, no one else is. He fixates on you with awe and wonder. Thick as thieves you will be, I hope.

Thank you my sweet boy.

You have become independent yet still need us for so much. This can be infuriating when we’re trying to get out of the house in the morning and you magically forget how to use a utensil or put on your jacket. But we can still comfort you, sing you silly songs and hold your hand when you are scared. I love that you have a foot on each side of the line. Toddler. Boy.

Thank you for showing us your love in new and surprising ways every day. We are endlessly proud of you and cherish you even in the moments of wanting to pull our hair out (and there are many). You will always be our first. The Ry Guy who made us mommy and daddy. Thank you.

Thank you.

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