Lex and Learn

Taken at my baby shower, just shy of 28 weeks. My dear friend Kelly drove from San Diego to LA to attend. It meant so much!

I feel like I just announced on the blog that we are expecting. It seems like yesterday I made Mike come with me to the store to grab a test even though I was sure it would be negative. I can still vividly remember the bliss of sleeping through the night without nature calling me to the bathroom.

But here we are at 28 weeks and the start of the third trimester. The baby won’t be here tomorrow, but little sprout is much closer to the big debut than not. Holy. Crap.

Are we ready? Kind of. Friends, family and coworkers have been so generous and we have received too many gifts and hand-me-downs to list. We have important things like the car seat, breast pump and stroller. The crib and dresser are ordered and the nursery is hopefully two – four weeks away from being 100% done. Our birth class is booked (end of June) and we have appointments scheduled with the other doctors in our practice who may be our doctor during “show time.”

We have some names in mind but need to do a lot more work on those. We know three baby boys who will be born before sprout so that is adding additional pressure to have at least three or four options on our short list. Oy.

My nesting and obsessive need to clean instincts are in full effect, which is really hard because our house is a disaster zone. Our old office setup that was in the nursery is scattered throughout the basement, which is why I haven’t posted any reveal pictures. All of the baby items we received don’t have a place in the nursery yet so they live in our sitting room, just a few steps from our front door. Mary Poppins, where are you when I need you?

But I know one thing. I cannot wait to meet sprout. He or she is kicking like crazy and loves taking aim at my right rib in particular. Sprout especially likes to show off his or her rib-kicking skills at night when I am trying to relax and watch TV and then again when I crawl into bed. The whole thing is magical and extremely uncomfortable all at the same time.

I also spend a lot of time thinking, “I am going to be a mom.” Soon a little person will count on me for everything, and then even when our son or daughter can be wholly self sufficient, I will still be “mom.” Forever. It is thrilling, daunting, humbling…there are so many emotions running through my heart and soul. It is still surreal.

Any tips for staying healthy, happy and sane in the final trimester? 

I am sick for the second time in this pregnancy. It’s just a really bad cold, but I have learned that a bad cold + pregnancy is a new type of hell. My typical cold-fighting routine includes a healthy amount of Claritin-D to alleviate congestion pain, DayQuil, NyQuil and if I catch it early enough, some alcohol because alcohol can kill a cold in its track (sometimes).

But when you are growing another human doctors frown on the “Quils” and tell you to take Tylenol Cold. Well, let me tell you my thoughts about Tylenol Cold. I swear it is a placebo of nothingness, marketed to desperate pregnant women in a colorful box because we’re willing to try anything by a certain point.

No disrespect to my homeopathic mamas out there, but steaming and nasal rinses are not a cure-all. At least they aren’t for these sinuses. Give me the drugs.

Below are a few things that, collectively, finally have me on the mend day 4+ into this beast:

• Sleep. I have a really hard time taking sick days but after a whole weekend of laying low, I woke up Monday absolutely miserable and never made it out of bed. Know your limits, and then give yourself even a little more slack if you are also pregnant. Your body is working extra hard for that little babe and fighting sickness may be taking a backseat
• Pho (or any spicy Asian soup). I used to swear by won ton soup when I was sick but now that I don’t eat meat, vegetarian-based pho with as much heat as you can handle is a god send. Despite a 100 percent plugged head I could actually taste the flavors in the pho and the steaming hot broth felt so good on my throat and chest. I’ve been eating it almost exclusively since Sunday. Pho 38, if you live in Denver, has been my savior
• Nasal rinse or a neti pot. But don’t overdue it! On Friday and Saturday my nasal rinse helped a lot. But by Sunday I think I over-dried everything and I got a bloody nose at the supermarket, my one “put on clothes and get out into the world” outing for that day. I haven’t touched it since but may do weekly rinses once I am fully healed to keep things open and uninfected
• Crying. Well, it kind of made my stuffy nose worse but at a few different points, I just cried. I couldn’t help it. My face hurt so badly and my medicine cabinet is full of wonderful OTC drugs I can’t take. It made me very sad
• Tea, orange juice and whatever liquids (sans a hot toddy) that sound good. Everything I read stressed liquids and at one point I noticed sprout had been really still for a lot of hours, and once I started pumping fluids in again the movement became more regular

I’ve also been told to try Tylenol PM and read in multiple places that it is safe for a night or two, especially since sleep is so critical to the healing process. Essential oils have been recommended (e.g., lavender on your nose) but I couldn’t muster any strength to go to the store, and I worried Mike would never return if I sent him on that mission. The man does NOT like grocery stores.

What other remedies do my fellow moms-to-be and current mamas recommend?

Signed,

Day 4+ and this better be over soon in Denver

Self Portrait: 23 Weeks

At 24 weeks I have all of the answers down to the most commonly asked questions about the impending arrival of little sprout.

• How are you feeling? Amazing. Great. I seriously can’t complain. I credit a regular fitness routine prior to pregnancy that I’ve been able to maintain with minor modifications. Sleeping kind of sucks lately but that appears to be normal (according to the blogs) and something I need to get used to for the long haul.
• Boy or girl? We don’t know!
• Do you have names picked out? A few, but we have a long way to go.
• Can you feel the baby? Tons. This little one has several dance parties a day to my delight. The kicks never become any less magical.
• Is the nursery done? Nope. But we have the bedding, some accents and know what crib/dresser we are ordering.
• Are you planning to breastfeed? Yes, hoping to. But I refuse to put additional pressure on myself by saying “for one year” or “at least six months.” I simply promise to do all that I can to give our little sprout the best nutrition and nurturing that I can, while maintaining my sanity as a full time working mom.   
• Are you going back to work? Yes, full time. I am taking 12 weeks off and hoping to work right up until I deliver to maximize my time with the baby. Mike will take a little time off at the beginning and then pick and choose days as needed, especially once I return to work.
• What are you doing for childcare? Likely daycare but we’re going to interview nannies too when we’re closer to the due date. We are on the wait list for three centers right now and have a clear favorite if we can make it work financially.

But recently I was asked a question I hadn’t heard before, and it was a breath of fresh air. A tough question but one I really appreciated someone asking.

What are you most nervous/anxious about?

At first I laughed and sarcastically (‘cause that’s my style) replied the lack of sleep. It is indeed a fear but more of a superficial one. I know (hope) that my body will be infused with superhuman strength to survive those early weeks of sleepless nights, caused by feedings and me staring into the monitor, convinced little sprout has stopped breathing.

But when I paused for a moment, a truer answer came out naturally. I replied, “going back to work and understanding how to make it all work.” It is not in my DNA to give less than 100% at work. Yet when I try to do the math, how do I give 100% professionally, 100% as a parent and 100% as a wife, daughter, friend…the list goes on. How can I be 500%+?

I know it’s not possible. I have total and absolute faith that Mike will be there to meet me more than halfway and together we’ll be the parents we want to be. But things will have to give, so how do you decide what those things are? I can’t stand a messy or unclean house but we’re still crunching the numbers on a house cleaner. I will not deviate from cooking healthy meals for our family, but I also want to enjoy the small window of time after work with the baby and not spend half of it preoccupied in front of the stove. I worry about that first day when sprout is sick and someone needs to stay home, and that someone needs to be me. Canceling meetings, asking for deadline extensions…thankfully my job is more than understanding of “putting family first” but it still makes me super anxious.

Going back to work will be a huge learning curve for us, but one I do look forward to because I want to work. I’m immensely proud of my career and it’s important to me to keep climbing. My mom worked very hard and she was an incredible role model in that working mother role. I hope to be the same to our son or daughter.

I will have to let go in some areas, be okay with asking for help in others, and simply learn when to wave the white flag when all else fails. I’m grateful to have friends, family and mentors in my life who can help me through the initial shock when I come back. I’ll need them tremendously.

Because of Pinterest I had grand plans for weekly bump photos that I would cleverly edit into a gorgeous week-by-week series. Something like this…

Instead the weeks flew by and Mike would say, “we need to take your picture,” and I would reply, “yep, tomorrow.” Part of it was laziness following work, the gym and cooking dinner. Part of it was mental. I haven’t embraced the changes my body is going through as happily as other women may do naturally. To be perfectly honest, it has been hard for me mentally to get used to the bigger belly and all that comes with it. I am in a much better place now, but in the beginning, it wasn’t easy.

So while we won’t ever get the early weeks back, we can capture the journey from 23 to 40. And I really want to do that because I know our little sprout will get a kick out of it one day. And he or she is infinitely more important than any hang-ups I have about the changes happening.

Here are a few we have captured…I do have more on my phone since I send quick text updates to my family and close friends regularly. Perhaps I’ll share some of those soon just for fun. I have no idea how many weeks I am in any of those. Bad mama!

8 Weeks

12 Weeks

20 Weeks

23 Weeks

23 Weeks Take Two!

More to come (I’m 24 weeks tomorrow!). Any tips for staying motivated to take them weekly? Any photography tips so that we have really great shots to look back on? I appreciate it!

Also, do you have a vote of whether it is a boy or girl sprout based on how I am carrying? A lot of people are commenting so I’m curious to hear your take…